The Pastoral Care Pen

This article is written by Michelle Mitchell.

An unexpected shift in friendships. A sudden end to a romance. Poor results in an exam that was meant to be easy. A family breakdown. Not being picked for a sports team. I know you could add to this list. These are only some of the experiences that can bring a sense of disappointment around our kids.  

Disappointments fill the painful gap between expectations and reality. It is what we feel when a hope is not fulfilled. In my life, disappointments have often lovingly whispered truths about who I am becoming or which path to next take. They have guided me as I have been willing to sit with them. That’s now easy for me to recognise. Hindsight is a wonderful thing! The correlation between pain and growth is something kids may not yet fully recognise.  

Conversations Worth Having  

Below I have outlined six conversations that are worth having with a young person who feels disappointed. These conversations do not have to happen in this order, and you may find that you bounce back and forth between them. The general aim of all these conversations is to help our young person turn towards acceptance and find wisdom in the moment. If they can do this, they may be able to reconstruct something wonderful and life giving in their next step forward.  

• Conversation One:  Let’s make room  
• Conversation Two:  The truth can guide us  
• Conversation Three:  There is always something more     
• Conversation Four:  Context matters  
• Conversation Five: You are not your experience  
• Conversation Six:  Home will always be here to catch you  

For the full article and explanation of each conversation please click on the link.